My 26th birthday happened a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve already begun to notice that this particular age seems to have a different tone. I have read several articles in the past from writers in their mid-to-late twenties who were less than thrilled to be asked this question: “So, when is it going to be your turn to get married?” Well, the response I have is one that I have come to accept and desire.
That response is simply, “Not any time soon.”
I would browse these pieces and think to myself, “No, that will never happen to me. Why am I seeing this same type of article from so many people?”
Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get married or have a family; I love seeing weddings and baby pictures on my Facebook timeline. I will never completely rule that possibility out, but I see no reason to rush and take on more than I can handle now.
That life is simply not for me at this time, and in this piece, I want to share a few reasons why.
I am a terrible multi-tasker.
I will be the first to admit that I am just now learning to multitask. I am working to develop a healthy life/work balance, and so far, I am still in the beginning stages of progress. I give kudos to the women who have careers, are married, and have children. I know I’d love to enjoy my own family one day, and I have no doubt that I will, but as of right now, I am still figuring out what life is about, and I am adult enough to know I’m not as mature as is necessary.
I haven’t lived enough yet. I love working, writing, and traveling. I have so many more goals that I want to accomplish and so much more left to experience before that part of my journey begins. I trust that God will allow marriage and family to transpire once He feels it is the right time with the right person.
2. Stress Management is Still a Struggle.
The second reason I’m not ready for marriage can also be interchangeable with the first, but I do not handle stress in the best of ways. I have not evolved in terms of my personality, and I feel as if it is more important that I learn how to handle myself effectively and consistently before I open and let anyone else into my life. I love the single life. I love being independent. I’m not a fan of my reactions to my surroundings at times, and I know from going through those obstacles that it is crucial that I develop the skills needed before moving onto another relationship. My previous relationship soured because neither of us were in it for the right reasons; we both were lonesome. You can never latch on to someone else to achieve true happiness.
3. I Want to Be A Good Parent.
I love children, and when I think of my future children, I always remember that I would want to be the best mother I could possibly be to them. When I have children, want to be a stronger, more settled version of myself. I want to be someone who my children can look up to as much as I look up to my own mother. I have no idea when I will reach that point, but I guess that once I do, I will know.
4. I Am Not Looking For Anyone.
Lastly, I have chosen to stop looking for someone who I know is hard to find; the choices out there in this day and time are slim to none. I don’t want just anyone. I have experienced instances of unrequited love, and for that reason, I just came to the conclusion that whoever is out there that’s meant for me will find me eventually. I just have to be patient, even though that is not one of my attributes. It is another quality that is a work in progress, but I believe it will help me find “the one.”
At this time, I have settled into a fast-growing career that I have come to love. I have had so much success in just three years; the ride has been truly amazing and I couldn’t ask for more. However, I am aware that I am still in the realm of continuously learning about myself with each passing day. God needs more time to work on me, to sculpt me, and to mold me. I am prepared to wait as long as necessary for marriage.
