If I am being 100% honest, this summer was one of the worst I’ve had in years. Yes, things could always be worse, but that doesn’t negate the fact that this summer was pretty bad.
Going into this summer, I felt hopeful that my life was finally starting to look up. My work stress was over. I was in a happy, committed relationship. I was finally able to pay off my car. And overall, I felt incredibly optimistic about what summer would bring me.
When I started feeling those glimmers of optimism, I didn’t realize that for things to truly start looking up for me, I needed to lose everything that held me back. I needed to understand how strong I am on my own. I needed to truly take the time to sit with my discomfort and think about what I want out of life.
Cue this summer’s apocalyptic weather. The air filled with wildfire smoke so potent that I had to mask outside. More than once in a matter of weeks, terrible storms knocked out my power for five days and devastated my area.
But this summer had one more lesson up its sleeve: a devastating, unexpected breakup.
With no electricity and no boyfriend’s home to escape to, I spent days sitting in my physical and emotional discomfort. I couldn’t run to a dating app to find someone new to distract me because my phone battery was too precious to waste on something so trivial. I couldn’t go out because my entire town shut down. My only option was to sit with my pain and feel it. I needed to cry it out. I decided to write it out. I couldn’t escape my emotions.
That’s when I learned that the best way to cope with heartbreak is to truly feel my emotions.
When someone we love hurts us, the easiest thing to do is to find validation from someone else. We want confirmation that we aren’t ugly, unlovable losers, like our exes convinced us that we are. But eventually, distractions won’t be enough to hide the pain.
When you’ve found someone to seek solace in, you might not fully feel your pain, but one day, the hurt will creep in. You can’t escape your emotions or run from the damage you’ve caused others. The longer that you try to outrun your pain, the longer that you delay the inevitable. If you allow yourself the time and space to actually feel your emotions, you can then release them. You experience the pain, and then you let it go. With time, you’ll move on.
This summer taught me that my gut’s always right. If being around someone starts feeling wrong, then you shouldn’t ignore that warning. You know yourself better than anyone else.
I learned that you shouldn’t fall in love with a promise. Fall in love with someone who doesn’t have to promise you a brighter future because they know that you’re already living in the light with them.
Sometimes the universe puts us through extreme emotions to help us remember how strong we actually are. This summer wasn’t picture-perfect, but eventually, I’ll be better because I survived it.
