“I’m so behind in life.”
This thought used to enter my mind often, especially as I saw my friends and classmates marrying, starting families, receiving promotions, finishing post-graduate degrees, buying homes, and traveling around the world. It felt like everyone else achieved their goals, but I was stuck — single, finishing my degree, and struggling to make ends meet. I thought that by my late 20s, I would be further ahead in life.
I asked myself where I went wrong and why I was so behind, and I arrived at an important realization.
I was never “behind,” but I was unhappy.
But once I learned that no one has life figured out, and we all move through life on our own timelines, I began to find happiness again. If you feel like you’re falling behind in life, here are five tips that can help you get back on track:
1. Let go of comparison.
We often compare ourselves to others — it’s a completely natural part of life. However, instead of falling into the “compare and despair,” mindset, embrace a “compare and let go” mentality. When you find yourself starting to compare yourself to others, remember that a delay in life isn’t a denial. After all, what’s meant for you will always find you. When you start to compare, notice this urge, then gently let go of the comparisons.
2. Live on your own timeline.
We often define “success” by how quickly we reach certain goals. However, taking longer to achieve milestones doesn’t mean that we’re failing. Everyone has their own path, and it’s OK if yours seems to take longer than others’ paths. Trying to live on someone else’s timeline will make you feel lost and cause you to harbor insecurity and resentment. Stay on your own path, and you’ll be proud of how your life comes together.
3. Celebrate others’ successes.
It’s tempting to be bitter towards people who seem to live your dream before you get that opportunity. But faking a smile and secretly resenting others will only make you unhappy. Try to find genuine happiness for your friends when they win in life. Recognize the great things that they do, and congratulate them on their accomplishments. When you celebrate others’ successes, you also surround yourself with happiness.
4. Do what makes you happy.
Sometimes we feel jealous of others’ achievements because we envy their passion for life and don’t know what will make us happy. Finding what truly makes you happy and regularly engaging in those activities can help you compare yourself to others less frequently. When you love something that’s just for you, it’s far harder to feel like you’re falling behind others — and far easier to find success.
5. Keep moving forward.
You may have many “what-ifs” and “if-onlies,” but as much as you want to make up for lost time, life has no do-overs. Instead of regretting the past, focus on improving yourself so that you can have a brighter future. When you see yourself as a work-in-progress, you can give yourself the grace that you need to keep moving forward.
Thanks to these tips, I no longer feel as “behind” in life as I once did. While I still haven’t met all of my goals, I know that I’m never “too old” to achieve them, and I know that I’ll find success on my own timeline. Instead of “falling behind,” I’m falling in love with life — and you can too.
