The Unspoken Pain Of Miscarriage And The Importance Of Seeking Help

A Dream that ended abruptly

“It felt like my heart had been brutally ripped from my chest, leaving me gasping for air. One moment, I was basking in the joy of pregnancy; the next, I was drowning in the dark, with no hope of a rescue” a journalist Emma Akuah shared her story of miscarriage in an interview on Monday.

She described the experience as a devastating one that no woman deserved to go through under any circumstance.

The Agony of Uncertainty

Ms. Akuah said she had thought that, because she already had two other children and also that the pregnancy was unexpected and brief, lasting only four weeks, it made no difference, but shockingly, the emotional impact was still crushing.

“After testing positive after a urine test, every moment was filled with hope and promise. I looked forward to seeing that little human being. I kept asking, will it be a girl or a boy? Will it be one or multiple? Will he or she or they look like me or like their father?” She thought.

 

The journalist said the sudden turn of events that, that dream was never going to be a reality felt so painful that it had no appropriate words to describe them.

“I am tormented daily with questions leaving me feeling helpless and alone. Could it be as a result of something I should have done or didn’t do? Was it as a result of something I ate, the frequent travelling on the terrible pot holed roads, is it because I am in my early 40s? “ She questioned.

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

She said on a fateful night she observed she was bleeding, she was rushed to the hospital for medical attention.

“The medical team confirmed my pregnancy with a blood test. But an ultrasound the next day revealed a shocking discovery: fibroids with no pregnancy. And then a later test confirmed a miscarriage. I felt very helpless” she said.

Ms Akuah said what was more shocking was the fact that, she had undergone a myomectomy almost a decade ago prior to remove fibroids and unbelievably now, she was faced with the devastating reality that they might have caused her miscarriage.

Navigating the Darkest Night

In the aftermath of the miscarriage, the journalist revealed that she felt lost and alone not sure about who to talk to, to get healed.

“Honestly, simple tasks became Herculean challenges. The pain of the loss lingered, a constant reminder of what could never be. I remember going to talk to my priest at church to see whether it will work. Well, it did but only for a while. I realized that the silence surrounding miscarriage was a heavy burden. So heavy I do not know how I can make anyone who has not experienced it to understand it” She disclosed.

She said, it was sad that many women carried this burden alone, in what could be described as an endless grief while trying or pretending to be strong or alright.

“Usually, you are not sure whether it is okay to break down and cry or just wish it away. Either way, I tell you, it is painful. I remember at the initial stage my husband had suggested I spoke to a psychologist or Psychiatrist but I thought that was too extreme as I hoped I will recover quickly. However, looking back, I wished I did” She disclosed.

She said like her, many women who have miscarried downplayed the effect of the loss on them only to find out it was more serious than they had thought.

Ms Akuah said she has fears that the pain would be worse for women who had experienced this more than once and even travelled many months into the pregnancy and had many people notice they had conceived.
“One could only imagine how they would have to continuously explain themselves about what happened to their families and friends. It really feels terrible!” She recounted.

A Message of Hope

But even in the midst of this pain, the journalist found a glimmer of hope.
“Over the years in my practice as a journalist, I have always told other people’s stories which was very typical of journalism. However, I felt that sharing my own story, would help break the silence surrounding miscarriage. I am optimistic that it would help other women feel less alone, blaming themselves and in fact less ashamed. We have to speak out and get the help we need and also encourage others” She said.

 

Ms Akuah encouraged women to seek medical help and support when they experienced same to alleviate their suffering. She also called on health facilities to intensify their counselling services around that subject as she believes it will do many women a lot of good. She also called for more support from families and employers to enable them go through the “challenging moment” successfully.

“I believe with the right guidance, women could overcome the challenges of miscarriage and achieve their dreams of parenthood” she expressed optimism.

Finding Strength in Medical Guidance

Meanwhile, a Specialist Obstetrician Gynecologist Dr. Karen Renee Zu of the Women’s Health Obstetrics and Gynecology has advised women not to feel guilty when they experience a miscarriage.

“It is not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything to stop it” She said while advising women to always see a specialist when they are planning to have a child and also as soon as they notice they are pregnant.

Dr. Zu emphasized that women who experience two or more miscarriages should seek medical attention.

“It means there’s something wrong that needs to be addressed medically to carry a baby to term,” she explained.

Miscarriage: An Emotional Toll

Also, in reaction to the sentiments of Ms. Akuah and many others, a Psychiatrist, Dr. Maame Ekua Baiden, confirmed that women who have experienced miscarriage often go through a mix of thoughts and emotions.

“The emotional impact of miscarriage could be overwhelming, especially for those who had welcomed and desired the pregnancy,” she said.

She admitted that this emotional toll could be particularly challenging for women who have experienced multiple miscarriages, as they may fear never being able to have children and might experience an additional stress.

The Importance of Psychological Support

Dr. Baiden emphasized the importance of seeking psychological support after miscarriage.
“It’s essential to provide a safe and non-judgmental space for women to process their emotions and work through their expectations,” she said.

She was of the opinion that, initial interventions, such as counselling and support groups, could be beneficial in helping women cope with their emotions. However, the Psychiatrist noted that follow-up support was crucial, as some women may require ongoing psychological care.

Psychological First Aid and Ongoing Care

“Not everyone will need follow-up support, but for those who do, it’s essential to provide psychological first aid and assess their emotional well-being,” Dr. Baiden said.

She stated that, a psychiatrist or psychologist could help women work through their emotions and develop coping strategies to manage their grief.

She said by acknowledging the uniqueness of each woman’s experience and providing tailored support, mental health professionals could help women deal with the complex emotions that follow a miscarriage.

Seeking Help: A Sign of Strength

Dr. Baiden emphasized that seeking psychological support was a sign of strength, not weakness as some women may have been made to believe.

“If you or someone you know has experienced a miscarriage, it’s essential to seek help or recommend professional help to them. There is support available, so don’t go through this alone because it will not be an easy road. Seek help” she assured.

Conclusion

Ms. Akuah’s story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It’s a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there is always hope. Always a chance to heal, to mend, to rise again.

By sharing her story, the journalist hopes to inspire others to do the same to break the silence, to shatter the stigma, and to find solace in the knowledge that they are not alone. END…