In matters of the heart, letting go can sometimes be the bravest act of self-love. This was the reality for a young woman who, after years of a committed, no-sex relationship with her fiancé, discovered his hidden infidelity.
Despite her pain, she struggled with the decision to leave, fearing the disappointment of family, friends, and their church community.
As shared by Marriage Counsellor and Physiotherapist Dr. Charity Mustapha, the woman had known her fiancé since childhood, growing up together in Sunday school and youth groups.
Their bond seemed unbreakable—until she uncovered his secret affairs. When confronted, he initially denied the allegations, only to later admit to them without remorse.
Desperate to win back his love, she compromised her values, hoping he would change. Instead, her sacrifices only made her appear more desperate, strengthening his disregard for their relationship.
Despite numerous prayers and interventions, she found herself at a crossroads. With great courage, she made the difficult choice to call off their wedding just weeks before the ceremony. Though this decision was met with resistance and attempts at reconciliation, she stood firm, understanding that “she who feels it, knows it best.”
Years later, she found love again under unexpected circumstances, leading to a new marriage proposal. Meanwhile, her former fiancé married another woman, only to discover that she was unfaithful. His efforts to salvage his marriage proved futile, and he soon realized the value of the woman he had once taken for granted. But by then, it was too late—she had moved on.
This story raises important questions about relationships, self-worth, and the wisdom of letting go. At what point should counsellors and loved ones respect a person’s decision to leave a toxic relationship? Is it wise to cling to what cannot be controlled? And should anyone prioritize someone who sees them only as an option?
Dr. Mustapha urges individuals to reflect on their choices—whether they are hurting or causing hurt.
“Letting go of what doesn’t align with our purpose unlocks new beginnings; holding on shackles progress,” she emphasizes.
Love, after all, is a journey.
And sometimes, the best path forward is the one that leads away from pain and towards self-respect and fulfilment.