The 3 top things people complain about

As a psychologist in private practice, I have heard my share of people complaining. You probably don’t even realize how much you complain. But take a moment to think about your last conversation.

Chances are, it involved at least one gripe—about a rude stranger, a slow internet connection, or an exhausting workday. While venting can feel cathartic, chronic complaining can trap us in negativity, making us more stressed and less satisfied with life.

So, what do people complain about the most? The top three grievances are:

1. Other People’s Behavior—Whether it’s inconsiderate coworkers, dismissive family members, or annoying partner habits, many complaints stem from feeling disrespected or frustrated by others’ actions. For example, a marketing manager named Danica frequently vents about her colleague who takes credit for her ideas in meetings. She feels unseen and undervalued, but simply airing her frustrations hasn’t changed the situation.
2. Life’s Daily Inconveniences—Traffic jams, long lines, lousy customer service, unexpected expenses, and technology glitches can quickly sour a mood. Luis, a father of two, complains about his morning commute every day. The stop-and-go traffic leaves him arriving at work already irritated, affecting his entire day.
3. Personal Stressors (Work, Money, and Health)—Financial worries, job pressures, and health concerns are significant sources of complaints. A freelance writer, Nina stresses over inconsistent income, frequently saying, “I just can’t catch a break.” Her focus on what’s wrong leaves her feeling stuck and powerless.

How to Complain Less (and Feel Better)

If you want to break free from the cycle of complaining (or help others do the same), here are three proven strategies:

1. Reframe the Situation—Instead of dwelling on the frustration, look for what you can learn or control. Ask yourself: Is there a silver lining? Can I approach this differently? For instance, Danica started documenting her contributions and speaking up in meetings instead of fixating on her coworkers’ behaviour. This helped her gain more recognition and feel more empowered.
2. Take Action or Let It Go—If something bothers you, ask: Can I fix this? If the answer is yes, take steps to change it. If not, practice acceptance and move forward. Luis, for example, stopped ranting about traffic and instead used his commute to listen to an audiobook. The shift transformed his frustration into a productive habit.
3. Practice Gratitude—Focusing on what’s going well helps rewire your brain to notice positives over negatives. Try keeping a gratitude journal or simply pausing to think: What’s one thing I appreciate right now? Nina began ending her day by listing three things she was grateful for, which helped her feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Final Thought

Complaining is normal, but too much can drain your energy and those around you. By shifting your perspective, taking action, and practising gratitude, you can reclaim your mindset and experience more peace—no matter what life throws.