The 12 types of men who are truly bad partners

As much as we all like to think that relationships are something that is inherently part of a human experience, they’re not. Some people can do relationships with ease, and then some people just aren’t capable of being happy in a relationship no matter how good their partners are.

People who fall into that second category either have too many issues, are too selfish, or are otherwise just not built for it. Though there’s often a feeling like we need to fix guys who are like this or that we need to prove them wrong, don’t bother. The only person who can change them is themselves and trying to get into a relationship with one of these types of men who are truly bad partners will only leave you with heartbreak.

Here are the types of men who are truly bad partners:

1. The abuser

Abusers never change. If he’s making digs at your appearance, talking about how other girls are better than you or otherwise making you feel like garbage, he’s not going to change. Men like this aren’t capable of loving or having happy marriages because the only time they’re happy is when their partners are suffering.

2. The serial cheater

A lot of people will tell you that “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true, but the truth is that there are a select few who change. Men who cheat regularly won’t change because it’s in their nature to be selfish, to lie, and to cheat.

These kinds of guys would be a lot better off if they would just be polyamorous and honest, but the fact is that they are too insecure to feel okay with women fooling around with them. As a result, they aren’t capable of relationships — at least, not happy ones.

3. The mama’s boy

Every woman I know has met one guy who had a mom who was way too invested in her son’s dating life. With guys who are straight-up Mama’s Boys, they will always choose their mother over you. Unfortunately, this means that they may refuse to marry you due to your mom’s wish, or may let their mom abuse you.

Mama’s Boys whose mothers have died also tend to be bad partners because they’re looking for a replacement mom. Don’t go for this kind of guy; they’re just awful.

While not all mamas’ boys make bad partners, the term implies an unhealthy level of dependence on their mother. This can lead to issues in a romantic relationship, potentially making them less than ideal partners due to prioritizing their mother’s opinions and needs over their partner’s. However, a 2018 study found that the severity of this dynamic varies significantly between individuals and depends on the nature of their relationship with their mom.

4. The desperate-for-validation guy

This guy doesn’t want a girlfriend as a partner; he wants a girlfriend who just acts like a validation-giving machine. He’s so insecure that he needs someone or something to feed his ego. The problem with this is threefold.

First off, the guy in question won’t consider his partner’s feelings because he’s too busy bolstering up his own. Secondly, most guys who fit this bill tend to be uncaring about who they date and don’t take the time to know and appreciate them as people. Lastly, if this insecure mess gets better, they usually dump the girl who helped them.

According to a 2019 study, men excessively driven by a need for validation may struggle in relationships due to behaviours like constant reassurance-seeking, emotional instability, and difficulty sharing feelings, potentially leading to a cycle of dependency and strain.

It’s crucial to distinguish between a healthy need for support and validation and a destructive obsession with external approval. Individuals who struggle with this need for external validation may benefit from therapy to address underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

5. The guy who’s the centre of his universe

One major problem I’ve noticed with a lot of men in the dating scene is that they only care about themselves — often to the point that manners, common courtesy, and empathy go out the window.

It’s so common that it’s sickening, and guys who have these traits don’t even realize why they’re single. The reason why they’re single is because relationships require you to be able to think about someone other than yourself and that’s impossible for them to do.

6. The guy with no goals, no interests, and no life

There are a lot of people out there who just want someone to pay their bills and let them mooch off of them. They have no interest in bettering themselves, nor do they really want to care for their partner. In a word, these are people whose lives suck and who are fine living a parasitic lifestyle.

The funny thing about most parasites is that they weaken or even end up causing the deaths of their hosts. Oddly enough, most people stuck with these kinds of human parasites often end up as shells of their former selves too. Think about that and you’ll see why they can’t be in relationships.

A guy without goals can make a nasty partner, especially if you value ambition and a sense of direction in a relationship. A 2015 study concluded that a lack of goals could lead to a significant mismatch in life priorities and plans, potentially causing frustration and conflict within the partnership. However, it depends heavily on individual personalities and whether both partners are okay with different levels of ambition.

7. The emotionally unavailable guy

He’s down for intimacy, he can be fun to befriend, but in terms of commitment? Nope. These are the kinds of guys who just literally don’t have it in them to be good in a relationship, most often due to emotional baggage they hold onto. Though emotionally unavailable guys might become emotionally available later on, waiting for him to make that leap is a very bad idea since there’s no saying it’ll happen.

8. The guy who can’t admit when he’s wrong

There are a ton of people out there, both male and female, who can’t admit when they’re wrong. Unfortunately, part of actually keeping a relationship healthy is being able, to be honest and apologize when you hurt someone. Therefore, this is incompatible with keeping a relationship.

9. The guy who hates women

You can’t have a relationship with something you hate and expect it to be healthy. It just won’t work.

In a study of 1,096 heterosexual men and women, researchers found that men with sexist attitudes tended to underestimate how much power they had in their relationships, which predicted increased aggression toward their female partners.

10. The guy who can’t talk about difficult subjects

Ever me someone who could never admit when something bothered them? Usually, if you have, they tend to be doormats who seem to explode, often over a small issue that could be easily solved.

This isn’t healthy. If you can’t have a normal, constructive conversation about a difficult topic with your partner, you won’t make it.

11. The guy who can’t accept personal boundaries

Boundary pushers are terrible people, primarily because they have no problem with making people uncomfortable or even seriously upset as long as they get their way. People like this are toxic — extremely toxic — and as such, they aren’t capable of a loving relationship with anyone other than themselves.

12. The guy who’s always looking for something better

I understand wanting to get the best partner for you, but the problem here is that there’s only a certain level of perfection that a human being can get. If he keeps ogling other women or won’t uninstall Tinder, he’s not capable of a relationship, primarily because he thinks he’s better than anyone he’s ever met or will meet.

Sad? Yes, but there is some good news. Guys like this end up alone and miserable.

Consistently seeking something better in a relationship can be a sign of a potential lack of commitment and may lead to an unfulfilling partner. The Pew Research Center found that it can create instability and a lack of focus on the current relationship. Holding onto someone until something better comes along is unfair and disrespectful to the partner, who deserves to be treated respectfully and allowed to build a future.