Infertility woes: I had a child with my brother in-law, he is dying, my husband doesn’t care

What extent will you go in search of the fruit of the womb? Will you cheat for it? Will go on the blind side of your partner to have a baby? In this message sent to counsellor, David Papa Bondzie-Mbir, you’ll find out how infertility can drive people to do the unthinkable. Read on…

 

“David, please I need your help urgently. Can you post this message on your timeline for me? The person I’ll want to reach to follows your page. He is my husband, and I feel he is about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

I messed up. I broke his trust, and he is angry with me. I accept my share of the blame. But he is going too far with his anger.

I slept with my brother-in-law, and there is a child out of the affair, one my husband used to believe is his.

I have no excuse for this error.  However, Dave, the wrong has already been done. My brother-in-law is my husband’s only brother. Their mother had just the two of them.

They used to be so close, and I know how much they both love each other. They’ve stood for each other, they’ve supported each other. Family means everything to them.

The affair wasn’t because we had feelings for each other. Our relationship is and has been strictly mutual respect and care. My husband is the eldest, and we have been married for a number of years without children. My brother-in-law has children with his wife, and they have been married for just a few years.

I realised how affected my husband was after our fruitless attempts to conceive. The doctors maintained there was nothing wrong with us medically. I didn’t want my husband to feel left out. So, I talked to his brother to have sex with me a few times to see if I could get pregnant.

He did not like the idea, but I insisted. I got pregnant, and my husband was excited for us. He was happy to believe he wasn’t impotent.

He was happy to have a child in our home. The child is their blood, that was all I was thinking. There was no emotional connection or feelings between his brother and I. It was just sex, and we agreed on that.

My husband was’t supposed to find out about this. But he did. A correspondence I thought I had deleted, between his brother and I was still on my phone, and he read it.

I love my husband, David, and though there is no going back to right the wrong, I did this for his own interest. I wanted him to be happy to experience fatherhood.

I wanted us to be parents. Until he discovered the truth, we were happy with our child. He’s asked me to move out of the house, and I have. I betrayed his trust and I get it. I will understand if he’d want nothing else to do with me.

However, David, there is a matter of life and death at stake here. My brother-in-law is fighting for his life at the hospital. He is dying and needs blood transfusion.

The blood from the hospital blood banks aren’t working on him. The doctors are saying my husband’s direct blood is the antidote. They already have his medical records, and so they know what they are saying. He needs his brother’s blood to survive.

My husband has refused to donate his blood. He is punishing us for the mistake we made. A brother I know loves him more than I do. His mother has tried talking to him, but he’s not listening.

We do not want to include any outsiders in this family issue, due to the complications involved. I am bringing to his attention what is at stake here because he is a fan of your page. Please post this anonymously, so only he can know I am talking to him.

Sweetheart, I am sorry.
I am very sorry.
I. Am. So. Sorry.

I deserve all the anger in you. And I accept whatever decision you would make about our marriage. I love you very deeply, and you know this. The universe is not evening things up with your brother for sleeping with me.

Your brother needs you. I know you think you don’t care. But you care. I know you. You will regret not helping your only brother if he dies. I don’t know what else to say.

I am sorry for letting you down. I am sorry for breaking our family. Do not let this cloud your judgment. Do not let this make you ignore your brother at this crucial moment that he needs you the most.”

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