I Love Christmas, But The Holidays Aren’t The Same Without You

I love the holidays; the music, the lights, and the mood in the air. I love everything about the Christmas season. It has been and always will be my favorite time of the year.

I think what I love the most about the holidays is the fact that it’s probably the most time you spend with your family, and make the most memories. At least for me, it is.

The thing about the holidays is while most associate this time of the year with happiness and joy, some associate it with sadness. I deal with both around this time of year.

As I mentioned earlier, the holidays are my favorite time of the year, and that mainly has to do with the memories that I have growing up. Almost all my favorite Christmas memories involve my family.

I remember waking up on Christmas morning to the smell of my dad making bacon and cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I remember when we opened presents, my dad would be sitting on the couch with his cup of coffee trying to direct us to put the wrapping paper in the garbage bags. But most importantly, I remember the time that I genuinely enjoyed being with my family.

My family had so many traditions during Christmas time as well.
On Christmas Eve we would go to the mall and run around buying gifts for everyone and have dinner at IKEA. On New Year’s Eve, we would go to the holiday light show and sit through two hours of traffic to see an amazing drive-thru show. And for the longest time, we would buy and put our tree up on Christmas Eve. One year, my dad stole a tree because so many places were sold out and he didn’t think anyone would notice (they did).

My dad passed away in 2019, and Christmas hasn’t felt the same since.
It’s still Christmas, and it’s still my favorite time of the year, but it’s almost as if the cheer and joy are cut back compared to years past. And for some reason, this year hits harder than other years. So many things have happened over the course of the past three years, and I can’t wrap my head around it.

My mom, brothers, and I moved out of my childhood home.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m in LOVE with our new house and I think we needed the change desperately, but when I think of Christmas I think of being in the living room of my childhood home.

I associate Christmas with that house, not the house I’m in now. I picture myself sitting on the couch with my brother opening presents and watching Christmas movies all day. Christmas is still great in our new house, but it’s not home.

I changed jobs

My dad and I worked together at a school for a few years, and during that time I was brought in by an amazing work family.

I remained at this job for six years, and Christmas was always my favorite time to be in school. The cookies, the singing, and just the sense of belonging always made me feel better.

You could go out into the hallway and come back with a plate of food from the classrooms within the hallway. There was no use in trying to diet during December because no matter where you were, there was always food to eat.

I left that job this past year and moved on to bigger and better things, but I’m missing that Christmas vibe I get from work. It’s like a piece of me is missing because I’m not baking cookies for everyone and their families. I just miss that sense of belonging.

I think no matter how you approach the holidays, you’re always bound to find some sense of sadness. We’re growing up and we have different responsibilities, we’re running around more. But it’s important to remember that you always find joy in Christmas, no matter how hard it might seem for some years.

Put on your favorite Christmas movie, jam out to Christmas songs in your kitchen while baking cookies, or go drive around and look at Christmas lights.

We sometimes want to think we’re Scrooge and find all the negativity in our lives, but sometimes you need that little glimmer of hope (or what I like to call *Christmas Magic*) and find it within yourself. It’s always there just dig a little.

Happy Holidays, everyone!