I Faced Years of Bullying and Abuse, But I’m a Survivor
When I was a teenager, I endured nearly a year of sexual, emotional, physical, and mental abuse from an instructor in my high school’s Fire Science program. The abuse and bullying occurred almost daily, and it completely destroyed me.
One day, I gained the courage to speak up about the abuse that I faced. Standing up for myself was the hardest thing that I’ve ever done. I’ll never forget that day — and the pain that followed.
I thought that when I came forward about the abuse, my life would return to “normal.” However, it never did and never will.
After seeking help for my instructor’s bullying, I incidentally had to endure many more years of bullying, both in-person and online. When I walked the halls of my high school, both students and staff would stare at me and whisper.
Some would speak loudly enough that I could hear, though, I heard people say that I was “such a slut,” that they couldn’t believe that I “would sleep with a teacher,” and that I would “sleep with anyone.” The bullies called me “Sabrina the Slut,” and boys constantly whistled and asked if I could “handle them.”
When my teacher’s abuse made the news, people shared the story online. They made horrible comments about me, despite my instructor being an abuser. Following the news story, I received awful notes in my locker every day, including death threats. People also threatened me over the phone and even stalked me.
Eventually, my school stated that they felt that I was a threat to the other students and even the staff. The people who needed to protect me failed me instead. As the threats continued, the school forced me to get a special pass just so that I could be in the hallways outside of passing periods. Instead of allowing me to attend regular classes, my school expected me to do all of my schoolwork in a room away from the other students. Furthermore, I was banned from attending senior year events and wasn’t even allowed to take the bus to school. I wondered why the school punished me for others’ abuse and bullying. It felt so unfair and caused extreme trauma and pain.
I quickly learned that bullying isn’t limited to kids calling other kids names. Adults can be bullies too, and their comments hurt even worse than peers’ bullying because they should know better.
I have grown so much as a survivor of bullying, and now, my heart hurts for those who choose to bully. If we put 100 people in a room and ask them if they’ve ever been sexually abused, hazed, bullied, or subject to violence almost every person would have experienced bullying behavior. After all, we’re more alike than we are different.
Today I speak publicly, sharing all that I’ve endured as a survivor. The bullying continues, but thankfully, I’m much stronger than I was in the time right after the abuse. When others bullied me, I felt like I was drowning, but now, I finally have my head above water.
As a society, we have the means to end bullying. However, if we continue to spread hate and anger, then nothing will change. Stopping bullying begins with showing compassion, being understanding, and accepting others.
If you’re experiencing bullying, please know that you aren’t alone. There are many resources that can help give you the strength to move forward.