How to cultivate unconditional gratitude

Most gratitude comes with a “because.”

• “I’m grateful for my health because it lets me do what I love.”
• “I’m grateful for this person because they helped me.”
• “I’m grateful for this opportunity because of where it might lead.”

This Thanksgiving, when you go around the table with your family and share what you’re grateful for, stop and listen for a moment. How many of your thank-yous come with a “because” attached? How often does gratitude show up as a transaction?

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with some “conditional gratitude,” as I like to call it. Recalling what we’re grateful for is a healthy practice. But, thankfully, there is another kind of gratitude: one without a “because.” A gratitude that exists simply because we do.

This is unconditional gratitude.

It emerges not from getting what we want or like, but from recognizing the incredible nature of our own existence. It’s the feeling that arises when we pause and take in the miracle of being here, without needing to justify our existence.

The Neuroscience of Gratitude

We know, on a biological level, that gratitude is good for us, regulating the sympathetic nervous system.[i] Brain imaging studies show that feelings of gratitude activate the hippocampus and amygdala, areas tied to emotion, memory, and bodily regulation.[ii] These regions overlap with reward pathways and the hypothalamus, boosting serotonin and stimulating dopamine (the neurotransmitters associated with well-being and motivation).

Gratitude can even reshape neural structure over time, supporting our emotional endurance. Long-term gratitude practice is associated with improved immune functioning, lower cortisol, and strengthened cardiac health.[iii] Participants in a study who practiced gratitude were more resilient to emotional setbacks and stress, showing greater psychological flexibility and broader awareness in difficult moments.

Gratitude as a practice can offset and balance our brain’s negativity bias. While this bias (remaining vigilant and scanning for danger) aided our survival earlier in human evolution, it now places significant stress on our nervous system, contributing to burnout, mood challenges, and anxiety disorders over time. To offset this negativity bias, we must be intentional about noticing and taking in the good within and around us. A useful rule of thumb is to pause for at least three full breaths, allowing ourselves to truly savor, absorb, and digest the emotional “nutrients” embedded in whatever we’re grateful for.

Gratitude, Unconditionally

Given all the well-documented benefits of gratitude, unconditional gratitude may be the most powerful form of all, unchaining our sense of worth from our external circumstances. Conditional gratitude depends on life going well. It’s inherently more fragile, potentially disrupted by stress, loss, or uncertainty.

Unconditional gratitude, meanwhile, roots us in appreciation for existence itself, independent of achievement, improvement, or control. It allows us to feel resourced and grounded even when life is messy or painful (often when we most need a boost).

In this way, unconditional gratitude becomes not just a wellness tool, but a profound psychological shift: a way to include pain and difficulty, instead of denying them.

Your Turn: What Are You Grateful For?

Instead of listing what you’re grateful for, take three full, deep breaths and try expressing gratitude without an object:

• “I am grateful I am here.”
• “I am grateful we exist together in this moment.”
• “I am grateful for the gift of life.”
• “I am grateful for the gift of being.”

None of the above demands anything from us. Building off these statements, gratitude can serve as a recognition of what’s already and always true: that your being here matters, completely independent of anything you do or achieve.

And for that, let’s be grateful.