How My New Relationship Broke the Cycle of Toxic ‘Love’
After a vicious cycle of seemingly endless toxic partnerships, I finally did it — I began a healthy relationship and found “the one.” This person is the one who doesn’t hurt me when I’m wrong.
He’s the one who doesn’t criticize my every move. The one who doesn’t scream at me when I wear something nice. The one who likes me for who I am.
After my last relationship, I decided that I was done with dating. All the trauma that came out of my previous relationship wasn’t worth repeating. As a matter of fact, every relationship that I’ve had was traumatic — but this one was the most damaging of them all. Relationships scared me — I didn’t want to have the same experience again. I quit dating because I needed to mentally, physically, and emotionally heal from everything that my ex put me through. I thought that my healing would take years or even that I might not ever fully heal.
But on the 4th of July, I met a wonderful guy. I soon discovered that he complimented me often and meant every word. He made me smile. He made me laugh. And most surprisingly, he healed my inner child.
My budding relationship with this new man scared me. I thought that he would eventually flip a switch, and everything good would suddenly disappear. After all, at first, that’s how almost every relationship goes. Your partner starts out amazing — the best thing that ever happened to you. But then, once they’re comfortable with you, they show who they really are — and it usually isn’t pretty.
That’s why I assumed the worst. I didn’t expect anything to come from getting to know this guy. I thought that it would just be a fun summer fling. But I was wrong. Now, two months later, this man and I are together — and we’re going strong.
Of course, relationships are usually easy in the first few months, but in this case, my partner hasn’t changed since day one, which is a promising sign. He lets me know what he’s doing when I ask. He makes plans for us. And he still compliments me every day — he hasn’t stopped. Even when I look my worst, he still thinks that I’m beautiful. Even when I struggle, he stays with me. He’s patient with me. He even already remembers little things I like that others would typically forget.
The universe has a funny way of bringing people together. This guy and I actually talked before we connected this summer. We texted each other occasionally but never hung out in person. July 4 started out as one of the worst days of my life, but that night, I finally met him, and everything changed. I’m not a sentimental person, but I do believe that “When you know, you know.” When something’s right, you feel it.
If you’ve been in a series of toxic relationships, take all the time that you need to heal. Don’t think that you’re not where you ”should be” in the process. Still, though, don’t throw out the possibility that you’ll find someone again and be happy. Don’t self-sabotage your way out of something beautiful. You never know what’s waiting for you — it could be everything that you’ve always dreamed of.