How I Stopped Giving Into Peer Pressure in My Adult Friendships

Everyone always says that the people around you can influence your actions and decisions. When I was a teenager, adults constantly stressed the negative impact of peer pressure. It’s so tempting to make certain choices just because others are — even if that’s not what you want. 

When I was growing up, my classmates targeted me because I had different interests from the rest of my peers. Now, though, I realize that perhaps, the people around me wanted me to have the same interests as they did. I never changed my passions or personality, though; instead of listening to my peers’ negative comments, I decided to follow my heart. I knew what was best for me.

I’m strong-willed. No matter what others said, I decided that the best way to make decisions was to put my needs first.

However, throughout my post-secondary and young adult years, I realized how easy it is for others to succumb to peer pressure. I’ve noticed that some of the people I interact with begin to adopt my mannerisms and interests. Incidentally, many of these people eventually became my friends.

However, throughout my life, several of my friends also decided to push me towards their own interests. In grade 7, one of my closest friends wanted me to listen to K-pop just because she did. But this behavior didn’t stop after middle school.

In fact, recently, one of my friends forced me to watch anime just because it was their hobby. I objected, and they reacted in a hostile manner, saying that I need to tune into pop culture.

This incident made me wonder if people develop friendships simply due to peer pressure and influence. 

Of course, common interests forge friendships and can even lead to deeper connections. But when friends try to force each other to like the same things or see issues the same way, peer influence can be mentally taxing. For instance, I once had a close friend who would constantly point out my weaknesses. And in return, they constantly talked about their own strengths, and how their strengths were incomparable to mine. Initially, I wanted to work on these weaknesses to become more like them.

Eventually, though, I realized that this person was compensating for their own insecurities. They treated their friendship with me as a competition rather than as a source of companionship. I knew that the dynamics of our relationship were toxic, but I also saw first-hand how peer pressure in friendships can make people feel like they have to change for their “friends.”

As human beings, we often find our sense of belonging in groups, which means that it’s far too easy for peer pressure to affect us at any age. Although peer influence can help us find new passions and push for self-improvement, it can also make us lose ourselves to others’ opinions. We can’t change the pressure that others put on us, but we can decide which influences we allow into our lives and how much we want them to affect us.