Here’s how men can help women with breast cancer
Breast cancer is traumatic not only for the women who develop it but also for the men in their lives.
Breast cancer is one of the most common cancers and a leading cause of death in women.
Hearing the news that your spouse was just given a cancer diagnosis can be devastating. You may have all sorts of questions about what will happen to your partner and what impact breast cancer will have on your life. Some people are scared their partner might die.
It’s normal to be concerned about the future. But try to take things a day at a time rather than focusing on things that may never happen.
Your feelings may begin to settle as the weeks and months go by. But some people continue to find it difficult to cope with how they’re feeling.
If your woman has been diagnosed with breast cancer, here’s how to help her cope and find treatment:
Communicate
Communicating openly with your spouse sets the stage for both of you to feel more comfortable sharing your feelings in the future. Don’t be afraid to show your feelings. Communicate that you are scared as well.
Stay close even if you’re not making love
Breast cancer changes sex for a while. Most women lose sexual interest and energy while they’re being treated. Be patient. Don’t withdraw physically. In fact, cultivate physical closeness — hugging, cuddling, holding hands, and so on. That lets her know that you still love her and find her attractive and appealing.
Make time for low-key fun
After the initial shock of the diagnosis, the surgery, and the beginning of any other treatment, chances are that both you and she will feel shell-shocked and not want to do much. That’s fine, but as the weeks pass, within your limits, try to have some fun. Movies are especially helpful. A woman can enjoy them even when she feels fatigued.
Be there
Probably the most important thing a man can do is to be fully present for a woman who has cancer. She’s bound to feel traumatized by her diagnosis, and you’ll no doubt feel the same way.
Don’t beat yourself up for being who you are, but try not to withdraw. You don’t need the medical knowledge of an oncologist, or the counseling skills of a clergyperson or psychotherapist. Just be there. Pay attention to her. Listen to her anguish. Hold her. Reassure her that you love her and will be there for her. This is not only a decent human thing to do, but it also appears to boost a woman’s chances of surviving the disease.
Take care of yourself
Self-care is key. Devoting time to do things that give you a break from caregiving will restore your soul and maintain your health. Make time to pamper yourself through relaxing baths, reading books, taking walks, and exercising.
While it can be difficult, it’s important to keep a sense of humour and laugh when you can. Also, try to maintain your routines, everything doesn’t have to focus on cancer.