Help! My husband can’t speak good English

What are your main criteria for selecting a partner? Does it include someone who speaks good English? A wife is in dilemma and shared her thoughts with counsellor David Papa Bondzie-Mbir.

I feel very embarrassed, sometimes when I am at a function with my husband.

I have tried almost everything to help him speak good English. He’s a very smart man when it comes to maths and anything finance. He’s very analytical.

I know he’s trying.

He even hired a professional English language tutor for three-year private tuition. I have over the years also tried to help him at home with his English, but he’s still the same as he was.

I used to not care about any English word coming out of his mouth. But now, I do. Because it’s becoming very disturbing. People laugh at him. People laugh at me behind my back. My wedding day was a disaster.

I attend an all English service Church, so you can imagine the horror during our exchange of vows. But I still stood my grounds, for him.

Even prior to our wedding, I spent weeks, helping him through the pronunciation and construction of the vows.

It still ended in laughter. I felt how embarrassed my family were on that day because looking at the family I come from, he just wasn’t right for my social class.

He is not a bad man. He’s equally accomplished so much for himself. He is well to do, young, good looking, tall, very caring and loving.

He is financially secure, as I am, so we were just two love birds trying to make love happen for us.

The fact that my husband would want to speak English at all cost is my problem.

Sometimes, we would be at a public function, and some of my colleagues, out of pity would switch conversation lines to Twi, so he would be comfortable, but no, he would want to speak English.

So while they talked to him in Twi, he would be forcing English on us.

You cannot speak to/with my husband for 30 seconds without ending up laughing. Due to that I have been cutting my public engagements with him by my side.

He realised  I no longer wanted to go out with him, and he’s changed too.

He comes home late. He’s seeing someone who according to him, “is not embarrassed by his English”.

When  we are home, I am not bothered by his English. In fact, I do understand him. We make little jokes of it.

But as a corporate director, my circle of friends outside my home is someway. He understands this because he is a Chartered Accountant. He has his own circle too.

I am surprised he cannot understand my point of view. I feel very sad that he is breaking our vows because I can no longer take him along to my professional outings.

Did I do wrong by cutting him off as my plus one to events? And, him seeing someone else and using his excuse as an excuse, is he right to cheat?

I can cheat back, but I do not want to set the wrong examples for our kids. I’d want to be sure I am making the right decisions before it’s too late for the both of us to make it work.”