Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ex-wife on his affair and life after heartbreak

Maria Shriver has opened up about the heartbreak of her divorce from Arnold Schwarzenegger in her new book, I Am Maria, describing the experience as a “brutal” and “life-altering blow.”

Maria’s world was turned upside down in 2011 when it was revealed that Arnold had fathered a son, Joseph, with their housekeeper, Mildred Baena, during their marriage.

News of the affair came at a devastating time, as she was grieving the loss of her mother, Eunice, who passed in 2009, and her father, Sargent Shriver, who died in 2011.

“My 25-year-long marriage blew up, it broke my heart, it broke my spirit, it broke what was left of me,” she writes.

“I was consumed with grief and wracked with confusion, anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety. I was unsure now of who I was, where I belonged. Honestly, it was brutal, and I was terrified.”

Maria turned to an eclectic mix of therapists, shamans, and psychics and even sought solace in a cloistered convent to help her heal.

But it was poetry, she says, that became her lifeline.

During an appearance on The Oprah Podcast, Maria, a former journalist and nonprofit founder, spoke about how real-life heartbreak shaped her book.

“It’s still an emotional thing for me, but I wanted to pick myself up,” she said.

“As I sat on the hotel room floor in the dark, terrified and alone with tears streaming down my face, I thought to myself: Maria, this doesn’t have to be the end of you. It can’t be the end of you. Make it a new beginning of you.”

In his three-part Netflix docuseries, Arnold, the actor, recalled the moment Maria confronted him about his infidelity.

“I thought my heart stopped,” he said. “And then I told the truth that yes, Maria, Joseph is my son.”

Despite the heartbreak and betrayal, time has helped Maria and Arnold forge a civil relationship for the sake of their children – daughters Katherine and Christina and sons Patrick and Christopher.

“It took a really long time to forgive myself, to forgive the whole situation,” Maria says.

“I think Arnold and I have a great relationship now, and I think there will always be a love there.”