A Letter To My 18-Year-Old Self

Dear 18-Year-Old Adele, 

I hope this letter finds you well. Welcome to adulthood. You made it! In two weeks, you’ll vote for the first president of colour in the United States of America.

You have so much going for you. You’re an amazing athlete, ski racing from Sweden to Norway to the northern United States! Not only that, but you’ve pushed your body past limits most people can’t fathom. You’ve also poured your heart and soul into Nordic ski competitions, winning so many gold medals that you could have a gallery. You’ve lived hard and fast, accomplishing so much in your 18 years of life.

But this letter is to let you know this: change and challenges lie ahead of you.

You’ll need to draw on your deepest strengths and dedication to find solutions. Additionally, you’ll need to develop empathy for those less fortunate than you and learn patience with your own body and mind. You’re about to embark on the toughest journey of a lifetime. But you’re resilient, and determined, no matter how hard things get.

Life is about to flip your world upside down. Take a deep breath. At 19 years old, you’ll have two bilateral leg surgeries to begin your medical journey. You’ll enjoy your mom’s home-cooked meals for the last time. Soon, you’ll lose the ability to digest food or have a bowel movement. You’ll go to the hospital more than most doctors and nurses. Travelling to the top hospitals in the country, you’ll undergo several medical tests to diagnose why you can’t digest or absorb food.

Eventually, you’ll develop a fear of food born from the pain of eating. You’ll endure pain so great most people would scream nonstop. Providers will bounce you to various eating disorder treatment centers all over the country, labeling you as having anorexia. You’ll endure shaming and blaming by medical and mental health practitioners who haven’t come across a patient like you.

But you need to stay dedicated to finding answers.

It will take ten years for doctors to accurately diagnose with severe gut paralysis and a genetic connective tissue disorder that causes debilitating issues. You’ll lose close friends to starvation, malnutrition, heart attacks, organ failure, and suicide. Eventually, you’ll train an amazing service dog, work with him for his entire 12 years of life, and then sadly lie on his bed with his head when he passes away from cancer.

But don’t give up. You have more life to live. Remember, you have a purpose on Earth and your time has not come to meet your deceased loved ones. Despite experiencing two near-death experiences, you’ll survive. From there, you’ll meet some wonderful doctors who give you hope and ignite a flame inside your soul. This will help you find your purpose.

I’m writing this letter to remind you to be strong, little one.

While you’re on top of the world at 18, feeling stronger than ever, savour those moments of glory. Store those feelings of accomplishment and pride for when life throws you hardship.

I’ve never come across a human as strong and determined to get well, or as well as your body will allow, as you. Lean on your family for pillars of love and support. And never, ever, lose your amazing sense of humour.

Don’t lose hope. Even in your sickness, you’ll be a lighthouse for others lost at sea. I believe in your power to overcome, your ability to teach, and your resilience in body and mind.

I love you, and I will not abandon you no matter what. Hold onto this letter during the hard times. You will change the world, one person at a time. If anyone can survive this path, it’s you.

Love,

Future Adele