A Few Words for Graduates
Congratulations on reaching your graduation. What an accomplishment! As you embark on the next chapter of your life, realize that we live in a historical moment of unprecedented change, Between AI, the Internet, and social media, technology is transforming our lives, and how we use it is evolving at lightning speed.
We see challenges to our freedoms, from antidemocratic political movements to the rise of global fascism and restrictions on free speech, in the form of “cancel culture” and in the widespread banning of books. Will we give up or get connected to do purposeful action? We need everyone to step up to work together for a better future!
Despite common misconceptions, anyone, regardless of intelligence or background, can fall prey to abusive, authoritarian groups disguised as beneficial organizations with noble aims: many destructive cults recruit with the stated objective of “working together for a better future.”
Although you can join many excellent and beneficial organizations, it’s sometimes hard to tell which are genuinely benevolent groups and which merely claim to be humanitarian but hide much more destructive purposes.
I know. When I was in college, I was recruited into the Moonies by three young women who invited me to what they said was a meeting of like-minded youth concerned about world peace, with the goal of making the world a better place. Aside from the obvious draw of the attractive individuals inviting me, what idealistic, altruistic young person would turn away an offer to help the world be a better place?
The group was far from what they were promising; the Moonies were (and still are) a far-right organization demanding complete obedience from its members, dictating whom they could marry, live with, even speak to.
What makes a cult a destructive cult is a matter of how much choice and control the members have over their own lives. An abusive group or relationship will exert control of behavior, information, thought, and emotion.
Most destructive, authoritarian groups won’t start right in with high levels of control, but once you are told who you can and can’t talk to, what information you can pay attention to and what you have to ignore, what thoughts are “good and proper” and what thoughts you have to block, and what emotions are appropriate and which ones are not allowed, then it is time to leave.
Don’t be trapped by the sunk-cost fallacy; no matter how long you have been involved in anything, whether it’s a club, a relationship, or a religion, you are free to leave, even if others in the group say otherwise.
Beware of emotional messaging to incite disgust, fear, or anger: many high-control groups use it to manipulate your feelings and actions. Remain grounded; decisions made in anger or from fear often lead to regret.
Maintain a healthy balance between your online and offline time: stay focused on healthy things like nature, children, pets, and other animals. If you are moved to be spiritual, seek out groups that encourage you to operate with love, compassion, kindness, and community responsibility, and avoid anyone who says they are the “only” source to divinity or to whatever your goals are. Only you get to set your path, and only you should control your mind.
As you embark on your future, it’s crucial to stay vigilant against the allure of authoritarian high-control groups and their promises. Explore new ideas but watch for signs of control of behavior, information, thought, and emotion,
Destructive cults and abusive relationships thrive on restricting personal freedom and autonomy, coercing members into compliance. Differentiating between genuine exploration and dangerous manipulation hinges on one fundamental principle: the freedom to choose and control one’s life.
Stay informed, stay critical, and above all, stay empowered to make your own choices. Your journey through higher education and beyond should enrich your mind, not imprison it.