Social media dominates most people’s lives, but we’ve also heard countless warnings about its dangers. Plenty of people have talked about the problems with social media use, like algorithms designed to hook you so that you scroll for hours. Communications& Media Studies
But recently, I’ve realized that when I spend time on social media, I don’t actually feel connected to anyone. In fact, most of my social media time is just mindless scrolling.
That’s not to say that social media is all bad. For one, I’ve used it to reconnect with old friends, make new ones, and discover online communities that have helped me grow as a person and find community. Social media has numerous benefits, which is why people still use it.
But the disconnect that I feel on social media has become more and more apparent.
Perhaps as I get older, I’m more conscious of what I’m doing instead of letting my fingers scroll before my brain catches up. Now, when I spend an inordinate amount of time scrolling, I feel empty.
Sure, I like to DM people, and I’ve had nice conversations in groups and with other likeminded individuals, but when I just look at people’s Facebook walls, Instagram photos, and TikTok videos, I don’t feel a connection with them. I’m not actually socializing with these people. I leave comments sometimes or “like” or laugh at the occasional post, but is that really personal?
I’m just one of many friends reacting to something that someone posted. We aren’t engaging in conversation one-on-one, or even in a group — we’re just reacting.
When people post on social media, they usually show you one aspect of their lives.
They’re not talking to you at their wedding reception or catching up on old times; they’re posting about their wedding reception in a series of photos, where at most, you leave them a congratulatory comment. Your friend doesn’t see you at their college graduation and chat with you; they post photos in their cap and gown, and you comment how proud you are of them.
As well-meaning as these congratulations are, they ring hollow. They’re generic and expected, and they don’t speak to the personal relationships that I actually have.
Maybe as an introvert, I find the whole idea of sharing moments in your life with everyone — including people you had one college class with — less attractive. I’ve accumulated so many friends on my socials, but am I really friends with everyone on my friends list? Many people are acquaintances, friends of friends, or even people I’ve briefly interacted with online. But that doesn’t necessarily make us friends.
The best conversations I’ve ever had with people involve actually getting to know them. Calling an old friend and talking for hours. Meeting with friends at a restaurant and losing track of time. Those are the times when I truly feel connected, and social media can’t replicate that.
Social media provides me with surface-level connections, so I’m pulling back.
I’ve deleted apps and even profiles on platforms I’ve never — or rarely — used. Now, I keep my scrolling to a minimum, aware of when I open social media out of boredom rather than interest. Freeing myself from social media does invoke FOMO, but then I realize that I’m not really missing anything. All I’ve missed was someone posting about one of the many aspects of their multifaceted life. Communications& Media Studies
That’s not socializing; that’s just observing. And those are two completely different things.
At the end of the day, I want to stay mindful about how I spend my time and engage in activities that truly feed me. And if that means that I spend less time on social media, then that’s fine with me. Staying off social media doesn’t make me a bad person or asocial; it just means that I need to find another way to connect with people on the level that I’m truly looking for.
