Mindfulness saved my life during perimenopause. Hyperbolic? Perhaps.
However… if you’d asked my exhausted, brain-fogged, strung-out-on-night-sweats, sporadically ragey, overwhelmed, perimenopausal self, she would strongly assert: ACCURATE. During those hormonally tumultuous years, mindfulness served as a lifeline.
Though research is still sparse regarding the direct benefits of mindfulness on menopause, there is plenty of evidence demonstrating its positive impacts on common symptoms of perimenopause, such as anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbance. Perhaps most importantly, mindfulness positively influences how we experience the symptoms themselves. By increasing self-awareness, we are more able to recognize when we’re caught in an unpleasant cycle of thinking/feeling/behaving, thereby lessening rumination and offering us the opportunity to change our way of automatically reacting.
The skill of mindfulness can be applied to any unpleasant menopause symptom—from heart palpitations to hot flashes to irritability to brain fog. We work with each of these symptoms in much the same way: notice, name, get curious, and allow (instead of resist).
For example, when I find myself involuntarily wide awake again at 2 am, there are two possible ways to relate to the situation.
Option 1: Repeatedly bang head against the wall. Remain stuck in a worry loop of life details, bemoan my inability to fall back asleep, fruitlessly imagine how exhausted I will be in the morning, listen begrudgingly to my partner snoring soundly. Curse him and wish I could be him (blissfully, obliviously unconscious). Toss, turn, toss, turn. Kick, thrash. Repeat.
Option 2: Relent and soften. Notice frustrated thoughts. Relax tense muscles. Take deep breaths. Get curious about sensations and thoughts. Instead of resisting, make space for it, stop fighting it, allow it. Remind myself that though I may not be sleeping, I am resting and that adding more frustration to an already unpleasant situation is an exercise in futility. Then, employ any number of ways to relax—read, practice a guided body scan, imagine a pleasant scenario.
It’s clear which serves us better. Not easy, but worth the effort.
Mindfulness may not eradicate the symptoms, but I’ve found that it absolutely lessens the severity, intensity, and duration, serving as an important lifestyle tool (along with nutrition, movement, etc.). Menopause education and proper treatment remain paramount, while mindfulness is incredibly powerful as an adjunct and may be sufficient for someone whose symptoms are mild.
I am in no way suggesting, however, that lifestyle changes alone are always enough. The last thing I want is a woman believing she should be able to meditate her symptoms away or blaming herself for symptoms that may be out of her lifestyle-modulated control. (Trust me, I tried to exercise, meditate, supplement, and grind my way through it. The night sweats and severe sleep deprivation prevailed.)
For those with more moderate to severe symptoms, until we land on the most effective treatment (whether hormone therapy or other medication, often through trial and error in collaboration with our healthcare provider)—and even once we do—mindfulness can help weather the turbulent hormonal storm.
It is not about gritting our teeth and suffering through. It is about making space for what’s here in the moment and also taking action to get the best treatment for our own unique needs.
First is always to educate yourself and find a menopause-informed provider with whom you can form an effective and satisfying treatment plan. Then, in conjunction with proper treatment, go ahead and use these tools:
1. Notice and name.
When faced with an unpleasant symptom, label body sensations. What specifically are you experiencing? Warmth in the neck and head? Increased heartbeat? Perspiration on the upper lip?
2. Allow with curiosity.
Take a breath and relax your shoulders, brow, and stomach. Recognize any negative thoughts or stories you’re creating about the sensations. Note: Allowing does not mean we love it; it means we are facing reality without resisting or denying. This is empowering.
3. Action step.
What is the next smallest, wisest, most skillful action I can take? Taking a few deep breaths? Getting a cold drink of water? Changing my shirt?
4. Self-coaching.
Remind yourself that the symptoms and intensity are passing. Give yourself a little pep talk as you might a good friend.
5. Assess the bigger picture.
Is it time to meet with a menopause-informed healthcare provider to discuss possible treatment? Is my current treatment still effective? What other shifts might I make to address this challenge long-term?
Though we may not be able to control when that hot flash or rage or bout of worry shows up, how we respond to it is up to us. Whichever you choose, do not needlessly suffer. You have options and deserve to be feeling your best.
