Marriage breakdowns: Ugly effects, implications call for meaningful divorce laws

Churches continue to announce bans on marriage in their congregations. Week after week, Moslem marriages are being celebrated. They are all encouraging, meaning that marriage as an institution is growing.

In individual homes, and before, the two sides of the family celebrated traditional marriages with so much pomp. District Assemblies are not left out with the registration of marriages on an ongoing basis.

Some of the assemblies have even mounted billboards advertising, among their services, marriage registration.

In effect, therefore, it seems marriages are being promoted and are thriving around us. These are all good signs for family cohesion and procreation.

Regrets

On the other hand, however, some television or radio programmes sometimes suggest that the youth of today have lost interest in that holy institution due to stories of regret and bitterness that some people, especially some women, go through.

The testimonies that get shared in the media are extremely worrying, making some swear never to go into marriage.  But is it all that bad?

Statistics on divorce were not forthcoming at the time of writing. Two local assemblies visited for information were not too welcoming to give any information, claiming the responsible officers were not at work or their desks.

Stumbling on some scanty statistics, the available national divorce rate is said to be in the region of 12 per cent.

Though the statistics are not too alarming, some believe that the “until death do us part” pledge is only a formality, waiting to crumble at the least argument in the home and that couples are increasingly becoming intolerant of one another while mutual respect is no longer existent in marriages.

Admittedly, marriage, as a human institution, there would be some levels of misunderstanding. However, there must be intentional adjustable room in the relationship. When disagreements come, the two should come together to settle it sooner and move on for peace to prevail in the home.

In extreme cases, however, some have thought of ending everything and moving their separate ways. That is when some resort to divorce as a way out. But how easy is it to end one’s marriage, especially if it was contracted under the ordinance?

Legal process

My understanding is that taking the legal process to end a marriage thinking it is a straightforward process to have one’s peace of mind is a delusion. The process apparently is too stringent.

Who knows, perhaps the legal process has been made so rigorous to dissuade and encourage reconciliation.

According to Section 1 of the Matrimonial Causes Act of Ghana, a court will only grant a divorce if the marriage has broken down beyond reconciliation.

One of the grounds for this Act is “proof that a partner has committed adultery”. However, even with that, the law goes further to demand further and better particulars because infidelity alone cannot be enough grounds for a court to grant divorce.

This means that while adultery can be a ground for divorce, it must be accompanied by clear evidence that the adultery made it impossible, intolerable or unbearable for the aggrieved partner to stay in the marriage.

The explanation is that if a partner commits adultery and yet continues to cohabit, it proves that the marriage is tolerable.

But cohabiting could be only a stop-gap while waiting to move into more appropriate accommodation.

Does the law consider the fact that the aggrieved partner, though sharing the house during the period of waiting, may be living independently and separately?

There are plenty of real stories where, out of bitterness or jealousy in a complicated and embittered relationship, things can get out of hand, resulting in murder or infliction of pain and injury.

Some even end up with mental stress. Families and friends have cried foul only after pain has been inflicted, at which point they regret not getting their loved one out of the bitter relationship.

The other side of such embittered marriages is the damning consequences on the children.

So, for an aggrieved person to decide to divorce, the law must look at the negative side of what may happen with delay or refusal.

Much as the law may want to encourage peace and the possibility of reconciliation in an embittered marriage, there should be some consideration in cases of adultery.

Almost all women would feel cheated out of a marriage when adultery is established.  Forgive, yes, but forgetting may be difficult.

The law needs to be fair and give reasonable hearing to the aggrieved in cases of adultery in marriages.

The deep sighs and silence in those situations have sent many to mental homes.