The Open Relationship Contract: 3 Keys to Success

Open relationships are becoming increasingly common. In fact, several people in my weekly therapy groups report that opening up their relationship saved their relationship.

As you probably know, open relationships are nonmonogamous agreements between partners to have other romantic partners.

It may sound tricky. But open relationships are becoming increasingly common. In fact, several people in my weekly therapy groups report that opening up their relationship saved their relationship.

Misconceptions about open relationships

Naturally, behaviors that challenge social norms will face scrutiny and criticism. But as times change, social structures that were once forbidden or outlawed become commonplace. In time, the same may be true of open relationships.

Think of gay marriage or women joining the armed forces: There was a time when even the idea was outrageous; today, neither is newsworthy. A little over 20 years ago, interracial relations were outlawed in Alabama. Today, Alabama has one of the highest interracial marriage rates in the country.

It takes courage, integrity, and strength to pioneer social change by challenging society’s norms. Successful open relationships are doing just that. Could an open relationship be the lifestyle change that you’re looking for?

Rules of an open relationship

Consider these essential guidelines when discussing opening up your relationship with your partner.

1. Communication. Without clear and honest communication, any relationship is doomed. Couples in an open relationship spend considerable time discussing it first, exploring fears, and examining motives. Only once they have a solid united agreement do they proceed.

2. Transparency. Honesty is what makes an open relationship safe for both partners. Throughout the process, they will continue to discuss and evaluate their experience. Most importantly, both parties have to agree before continuing. Never open your relationship or continue in one before you feel ready.

3. Ground rules. Successful open relationships are often based on a behavioural contract; in other words, what is allowed and what isn’t. The isn’ts will take patience and will evolve. For example, both partners may agree to tell new romantic partners that they are in a relationship and that their partner is aware that they are dating.

Open relationships take time and patience

Nonmonogamous relationships aren’t for everyone. Many people find that they strengthen their bond with their partner. With divorce rates as high as they are, could open relationships be an alternative?