Why Last Year’s Failed Resolutions Can Be a Path to Success
We emphasize our ability to keep the New Year’s resolutions we make to the point where keeping them indicates success, and falling short constitutes failure.
What do we do with our “failures?” Do we disregard ever having resolved to do something differently? Do we forget those commitments until the next year when we may make them again? Or do we look at how and why we failed in the previous year to keep the promises we made to ourselves?
Despite how negative regret may feel, it represents internal feedback about performance and serves an important self-supervisorial function. Taking a look at one’s performance may not necessarily influence future behavior, but retrospective assessment certainly has the potential to provide a learning experience.
According to cognitive scientists, the orbitofrontal cortex—a region in the frontal lobes of the brain—plays a fundamental role in mediating experiences of regret (Camille, et al., 2004). The cognitive process, known as counterfactual thinking, has to do with our assessment of what was gained compared to what would have been gained had we made a different decision (Zeelenberg, et al., 1998).
Researchers found that people with orbitofrontal cortical lesions do not anticipate the negative consequences of their choices and do not report regret, and normal subjects chose to minimize future regret and learned from their emotional experience involved with their counterfactual thinking.
Perhaps we can pay more attention to failed promises to ourselves and use the motivation regret provides to continue our efforts.
Reflecting On Our Future Self
We can use our imagination to be the future version of ourselves, with all the cognitions and emotions we will have, to give the present version of ourselves motivation to make decisions our future self would want (J. L. Parris, personal communication, 11/27/22).
For example, suppose you resolve to drink less on weekdays. If faced with what feels like an overwhelming temptation to have a drink, we can imagine the future version of ourselves looking back on the decision we are about to make—specifically, looking back on giving into the temptation or not—and use the way we think about and feel about the decision to generate motivation.
Using the future self in this way can be a powerful tool for making better decisions. One reason is that it allows us to tap into the motivation that comes from wishing we could improve the past.
We also benefit from the long-term perspective that our imagination can provide when we extrapolate into the future; when we imagine a future version of ourselves, we can see the potential consequences or benefits of our actions and be motivated to make choices to avoid those consequences or obtain those benefits. When faced with a temptation, it can be easy to focus on short-term pleasure without considering the long-term consequences.
By imagining ourselves as the future version of ourselves, we can see the long-term impact of our decisions based on our choices.
Succeeding in the Face of Failure
Failure is a natural part of learning, which involves being open to criticism and profiting from our mistakes. We need to be willing to take risks and challenge ourselves.
Ultimately, succeeding in the face of failure can provide a sense of accomplishment and pride. There’s nothing sweeter than succeeding in an arena where we previously could not.
Moreover, when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, it’s just between us and ourselves.
Excerpted in part from my book, What Motivates Getting Things Done: Procrastination, Emotions, and Success (Rowman & Littlefield, 2017); My appreciation to Dr. Julian Parris for his comments regarding this post.