8 things you should allow people do for you when your life is falling apart

When times get rough, we all know we need to lean on the people who care about us. After all, we offer our help and support to people we love.

But for some reason, it can be incredibly hard to allow people to help us. While we may fear being a burden to others or showing our vulnerability, allowing others to show support not only helps us get through the rough stuff, it also helps them feel useful and valuable.

Whether you’re going through a health scare or just a mentally challenging time in life, having that support team can make all of the difference — a lesson Eisenberg says she learned the hard way. Now she wants others to learn from her mistake.

Here are 8 things you should let people do for you when your life is falling apart.

During a conversation on Andrea Miller’s Getting Open podcast, comedian Ophira Eisenberg spoke about her breast cancer journey and her hesitation to allow people to learn about and provide subsequent support for her health struggles.

1. Have them come over to do simple tasks.

“Anytime someone says, ‘What can I do?’ Give them a job,” Eisenberg insisted. “Go like, ‘Can you come over next week…’ Bring over some soup. ‘Can you come over next week and do some laundry?'”

It really doesn’t have to be something as extravagant as deep cleaning your entire house or cooking a five-course meal, sometimes people just want to know that others are willing to pick up the slack when they’re unable to.

2. Bring some flowers.

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We often overlook the simple yet thoughtful gesture of buying someone a bouquet of flowers. Not only do they brighten up a room (and a person’s mood), but it’s such a small gesture that proves how much you’re thinking of that person who might need a bit of light in their life.

“I am a firm believer in literally just [going], ‘You know what? I’d like some flowers.’ Just say something, anything … anything that might make you feel good,” Eisenberg remarked.

3. A coupon or gift card to get a facial.

Eisenberg suggests you ask for whatever would give you a little joy and say something like, “You know what, if you want to get a couple of people together and buy me a nice facial, I mean, if that’s your kind of thing, I’m just throwing out ideas right now,” Eisenberg said. “I watched someone else do the flowers thing, and I co-opted it. And someone did say to me, ‘what can I do for you right now?”” and that’s what she said.

4. Distraction or some quality time.

Allowing friends and family to come over and spend time with you, whether that’s playing some board games, watching a movie, or just sitting around and talking, can really help take your mind off the moments in your life that cause strife. Even just sitting in comfortable silence can provide a reprieve from having to live in your head.

You may feel fearful of showing vulnerability in those moments and tempted to act tough or entertain your guests, but try to allow them to simply keep you company. It may take practice to accept this level of openness, but it’s well worth it.

5. Organize your space and get rid of clutter.

Several studies have proven that there is a correlation between disorganization, clutter, and mental health struggles, including depression, anxiety, and stress. Messy environments lead to feeling overwhelmed and helpless, which aren’t good feelings to have if you’re also facing struggles in your day-to-day life.

By allowing people to come over and tidy up your space, it can provide a bit of relief and stability. It can be something simple like loved ones putting away the clean clothes rotting on that special chair in the corner of your room, or even taking out the overflowing kitchen garbage.

6. Running errands for you.

Whether it’s picking up a prescription, getting groceries, dropping off mail, or picking up a package from the post office, errands can become such a task when you’re not feeling up for it. Allowing the people in your life to do these acts of service for you can truly alleviate some of those stressors and allow you time to really focus on yourself.

It can also help your friends and family. After all, they’d like to feel useful and you ne and try to piece your life back together in whatever way looks good for you.

7. Help with childcare/pet care.

Taking care of kids while attempting to catch your breath from life’s obstacles, whether health-wise or emotionally, can be difficult. Even just allowing the trusted loved ones in your life to pick up your kids from school, drop them off to extracurricular activities, or to bring over dinner so that you don’t have to cook for your kids can make all of the difference.

Even if you don’t have kids but just pets, allow the people in your life to take your dog on a walk, to come over and feed your cat, or to take your pet to the groomer or the vet. Just these little acts can make your life so much easier and take some things off of your plate to allow you more time to focus on your well-being.

8. Accepting a listening ear when times get tough.

It can sometimes feel as if you’re alone in your struggles and what you need from the people around you is to have a listening ear, even if it’s complaining, ranting, venting, crying, or wanting a laugh. Having someone there who genuinely wants to listen without judgment is such a precious thing.

Support can be such a valuable lifeline and you’d be surprised at how many people in your life are willing to show up for you during such difficult times with zero hesitation or complaints. Even small acts of kindness can add up and remind you that you don’t have to face life’s toughest moments alone, and there’s nothing wrong with leaning on others for comfort.