5 Bizarre Breakup Stories That Are Almost Laughable
There are a few experiences in life that are, sadly, unavoidable: being forced to eat steamed spinach in your childhood, pretending your friend is your boyfriend to get the creep at the bar to leave you alone, and a textbook horrible breakup.
No matter how much we’d like all breakups to be mutual, “we drifted apart” scenarios, that’s just not how it always goes down.
In case you’re thinking that absolutely nothing could be worse than the boy who just told you “It’s not you, it’s me,” here are 5 break up stories that will make you grateful for being let down easy:
1. I was actually engaged to this boy. We’d dated for a while and decided to get married. Right after we got engaged, he decided to move home (a few states away) because his dad had cancer, and he wanted to be closer to him. About two weeks after he’d moved, he called me to tell me he had a new girlfriend.
And that was it. We didn’t talk again until he called me a few months later to tell me he was engaged to his new girlfriend (it didn’t last. Thank you, Karma). – Marissa, 23
2. I’m a very religious individual, and the boy I was dating was in the same church as me, and it was something that we loved having in common. It was a long-distance relationship, and we were still in our teens. On one of the few trips I took to go see him, we cuddled and stayed up late watching a movie.
All we did was cuddle… there wasn’t even kissing. A few days later, he FACEBOOK MESSAGED me while I was out with friends, telling me that he “couldn’t feel the Spirit around me” and so he ended our relationship. What the hell? – Nancy, 20
3. In my late teens, I was dating this boy and things were getting serious. I was convinced he was the one. But you know how you can sense when your person is going to break up with you? They don’t text you when your song is on the radio, they send a smiley face in response to your “I love you”, and they seem slightly distant.
I’d ask my boyfriend many times what was wrong and if he wanted to talk about it, and he always assured me that he loved me and everything was fine, he was just tired. A few days later, I get a text from him at work, asking me to check my email. He texted me every 20 minutes for the next few hours, asking me if I’d read my email yet. When I got home and had the chance, I did.
And he had sent me a breakup email. Explaining that we couldn’t even be friends anymore because he liked me too much to stay with me. What even? And then he texted me saying he was so happy I wasn’t mad at him. As if. – Miranda, 20
4. I made the mistake of assuming the guy I was dating would be willing to talk things through…he sucked at communication, and when I confronted him saying he needed to actually treat me like a girlfriend, or we were ending it; he decided that we would “mutually end it”. I know that it was my fault, but no! Not at all how I expected it to turn out… – Kylie, 18
5. I dated this guy for about 2 years. Looking back on it, it was honestly a really bad, very unhealthy relationship. When he ended it, I’d already sort of started seeing someone else, so I wasn’t exceptionally hurt about it. However, a few days after we initially broke up, he contacted me asking me if he could ask out my little sister! He confessed that the whole reason he ended things was because he wanted to be with her! – Rachael, 23
Like every girl, I’ve been on both ends of a breakup. And while it sucks, and I feel so bad for these girls who had such horrible breakups, it makes me feel a little bit better about my most recent breakups. Looking on the bright side of things, some girls have definitely had it worse.