4 Signs You’ve Found Your Forever Person

“Soulmate” can be such a loaded word that can be so intimidating.

Imagine you’re going on a first coffee date to meet someone you connected with on Tinder and as you wait for him to arrive, hoping and praying he at least looks like his pictures, you find yourself wondering whether or not this person could potentially be your soul mate.

That thought might put such a high expectation in your mind that you might think finding a soulmate love is impossible and unreachable, and you might be tempted not to give anyone a chance.

Rest assured, your soul mate is definitely a real person with flaws and imperfections just as you are. He is attainable and you won’t need to be walking around on tiptoes in fear of scaring him off by being yourself, or with your imperfections. You will naturally feel at ease in his presence if he has the four following qualities.

These are certain defining characteristics that soulmate partners continually say they have for long-term success.

Of course, the most talked-about ones are love, passion, and connection. We don’t need to go into much about those because you most definitely already expected them and have already thought about them in great detail.

Let’s talk about the qualities you may not have thought about but are necessary for a soulmate partnership.

Here are the four signs you’ve found your soulmate:

1. You have shared values.

Your soulmate will share the same values on most topics. This is not to say that you will agree on everything but you will be on the same page with the most important things in your lives — like what religion, if any, you are or how to raise children.

That isn’t to say there won’t be occasional arguments but you will overall find that your lives flow very well together because you have shared values.

2. You have shared dreams and life goals.

Similar to shared values but this applies to your long-term plans together. It might be that you don’t have your entire life planned out yet (who does?) but you have an idea of your immediate plans for the next 5, 10, or 20 years? It’s important to know if you are together on the same path.

Do you both seek to live in the same location or type of environment? Do you both want to live the same lifestyle and see yourselves fulfilling some of your major dreams together? This may sound like a given but many don’t even think to broach this topic on that first coffee date.

Yet, it’s crucial to know before you become a couple. A great question to ask is, “What do you dream about doing in the future?”

3. You both have integrity.

This also sounds like a given but so many overlook this most important quality when first taken by good looks, charm, and chemistry. Integrity. Does he walk his talk? Does he follow through? Do his actions back up his words?

Don’t get me wrong, just because someone doesn’t necessarily follow through every single time doesn’t mean he is a bad person. But if he’s having trouble living up to his promises and you’re always feeling let down by him, then he definitely isn’t your soulmate.

4. You just like each other, plain and simple.

Wait, like? Just plain ‘ol like, as in “like” on a Facebook post? Yes, like. Not love, like. Meaning, do you like him as a person? Do you get along well and can you hang out with him a long time because you just like each other a lot?

Though this doesn’t sound as romantic as love or passion or connection, keep in mind when you truly like someone, it doesn’t fade with time. In addition to being lovers and partners, you’re best friends and have a deep respect for each other.

Couples that truly like each other treat each other with kindness and respect while continuing strong throughout a long-term relationship.

So the next time you find yourself getting overwhelmed with the idea that finding your soulmate is unattainable, remember these 4 qualities first.

As you have that casual first coffee meeting/date, before even thinking about chemistry or wondering whether or not he’s a good kisser, find out about his values and dreams, notice if he has integrity, and just find out whether you plain like him first.

If he has all of the above, then that just might be your last first coffee date.