2 subtle qualities of men that attract strong, independent women, according to psychology

Whether you’re first trying to get her to notice you or you’re already married to her, attraction is important to keep up in any relationship.

And we’re not talking just appearances here, though taking care of your body can help, physicality is only a small part of what is attractive

Just because you’re married, and she promised to love you forever, doesn’t mean you should stop trying to be attractive to your spouse. Making sure she wants you may be even more important after you’ve been together for years.

The problem is things change. Life becomes stressful. Baggage accumulates between you two. Physical intimacy becomes de-prioritized.

On top of that, women don’t need a guy. So, if a strong woman doesn’t need a guy, how can men make themselves more attractive so women want them?

This is the very topic YourTango asked a group of Experts. The responses — from experts Melissa White, Kira Gould, John Gray, and Susan Bratton  — offer two simple tips for how a husband (or any man) can become more attractive to a strong, independent woman.

Here are the two subtle qualities of men that attract strong, independent women, according to psychology:

1. Having the ability to take care of her

Notice the word can — not need. A strong woman may not need anyone to protect her — after all, she can slay her dragons. But that doesn’t mean she wants to be in control every second of every day.

Do you need somewhere to start in being the hero with a woman you’re dating? Try being the one who can anticipate her needs on a date, as supported by research led by psychologist Nancy L. Collins. Seems simple, yes. But women feel like the responsibility is on them to be aware of themselves when they go out with a guy. If you can recognize her needs, you’re not only showing her you think she’s attractive but that you can provide when needed.

Being able to anticipate her needs in a situation is an action much louder than words that will turn her on! There is nothing more attractive than a man who can provide, even if we don’t need him to.

2. Having a passionate purpose in your life

You want to be ambitious and passionate about something (other than her, of course), whether it’s your aspirations for work or dedication to learning to play an instrument.

Why do you think women like musicians and actors? Ok, yeah, part of it is looks, but it’s also because the passion a guy can show while strumming his guitar can be the same passion he strums for you, as supported by research in Frontiers in Psychology.

So, find something that drives and moves you. Something you are authentically passionate about, and be ready to share that passion with her.

Soon, you’ll see how much more attractive women will find you when you’re lit by an internal flame, especially if that woman is your wife.

It might sound like these two steps are too easy to work, but trust the experts.